How To Break Free From A Negative Mindset


Let's talk about having a negative mindset:

Whether it has to do with our interactions with other people, jobs, or anything that we really want, when we put ourselves out there, rejection is a risk we accept. And although rejection is normalized, flip the coin and there's only a 50% chance that the outcome of your efforts falls in your favor, it doesn't make it any less painful of a reality. For me, at least.

Mid-February, I was thrilled about a job opportunity that had taken three months to materialize as a face-to-face interview. It was the saem for an opportunity early March. Both quickly fizzled. I wasn't the right fit. The reality is, everyone can't win everything, especially those things that do not align with our purpose in the end.


However, add a couple of back-to-back job rejections with PMS symptoms, and you're bound to have an incredibly shitty time, one shrouded with negative self-talk, or an overcast of bleakness over your life in general. And that's me at times, unfortunately.

While bad moods are natural and worthy of acknowledgement, I don't believe negativity, self-doubt, or inadequacy are places you should build homes within. Rejection grows those feelings and does it so steathily that you might not even realize how much of your mind is feeding into that negativity by affiliating with it and by making you believe a situational occurence is an absolute truth. 

If you're somewhat like that or anything like me and need a little push in the right direction, try using some of the steps below to help you break free from your negative mindset:

Fake It 'Til You Make It

Self explanatory, right? But admittedly not one of my easiest feats. It's hard for me to move forward in times when negative emotions get the better of me. I'm learning though, that I need to give myself a timeline of when I can have self-pity, doubt, when I cry, etc. While these emotions are normal and okay to navigate through in small doses, it doesn't need to be marinated on until completion.

So, feel the negative emotions but focus on the good of it all anyway. Smile at the way the wind blew against your arms during a walk in your neighborhood, be present during conversations with people you love, reach out and touch someone, be the confident, self-assured you that you really are.

Be A Goal Digger

Long-term goals are important when it comes to maintaining a sense of direction in your life, but smaller goals shouldn't be overlooked. In fact, small goals can be the thing you need to make your feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and overall funk fade to black. Set aside small goals that you can do daily, like workout, refrain from complaints, take a lunch to work or school versus eating at that fast food spot. You can also have weekly goals like taking yourself out, kicking it with friends, or meeting a personal quota at work or school. Anything that emphasizes a push in the direction to a better you.

Create A Safe Haven

There should always be room for efforts in creating zen spaces. If you spend a lot of time at work, place gentle reminders that radiate calmness and peace in the areas around you. Keep a potted plant, photos of a favorite destination, or a favorite memory nearby to keep your focus aligned with those positive emotions. At home, it's a little easier because you dictate what constitues as decor and allocated spaces. While in your own home, take things a step further by sectioning out a small reading nook to relax and curl up with a book.

Say "No" To Stress

Whenever you're feeling bombarded by stress, treat it as you would any normal emotion. Feel it, acknowledge it, and send it packing. Stress is not productive and contrary to popular belief, is not a necessary component to getting shit done. So, when you feel stress taking over, find the why, feel it, but afterwards, place yourself somewhere happier and more at ease. My favorite way to do that is picking a song to listen to that helps me visualize where I'd like to be emotionally and mentally.

There's power in what you feed your mental.

What are some ways that you pick yourself up and feel better after a bad mood or a negative mindset?